I am no longer allowing myself the luxury of junk food.
It’s a sad state of affairs when you reach a certain age and that certain age reveals to you immediately and utterly how incompatible junk food is with your system.
As some of you may be aware, I had a moment of clarity in this post, thanks to the double whammy of cheese balls and ginger ale. I chalked it up to an allowable excess because it was my “female time”. Unfortunately, my female time ended but my scarfing continued. I actually went back to Target and bought two – yes, two! – more buckets of cheese balls, one in regular flavor and the other in flaming hot.
I shared one tub with my sisters and my kids but the flaming hot one, I’m ashamed to say, found its way next to my nightstand and has been emptied by me and only me. Within the span of five days. And they’re big tubs.
Now, I don’t know whether it’s because of the junk food itself, the amount of junk food, the type of junk food (salty versus sweet?), the fact that I’m eating so close to bedtime, old age (and thus slower metabolism?), or a toxic combination of any of these things, but the fact stands: during the course of this five-day feasting frenzy, I noticed a disturbing thing: I was bloating and no longer fitting in my clothes. After less than a week. WTW?!
No, I promise, this is not gonna be a pity party. I just mention this dismal state of affairs to explain today’s ensemble.
This, my friends, was my outfit of choice all through college: long, loose top and skinny bottoms. Even then, back when fashion and clothing was the last thing on my Berkeley-attending, tree-hugging, activist-being agenda, I subconsciously knew to camouflage my problem areas and play up my best features.
I gain all weight around my midsection and develop a chronic case of muffin top, you see, but I absolutely adore my legs. I can write odes about my legs. Whole sheaves – reams, even – of sonnets that wax eloquent about the cut of my calf muscles or the daintiness of my ankles.
Anyhow, in the midst of concocting outfits for Mystery Week, I found myself gravitating toward my tried-and-true strategy of masking the tummy but showcasing the leg. So while I wait for my junk food fast to do its thing and snap me back into pre-binge shape, I get to hide behind layers and/or relaxed silhouettes up top. I’m just happy that I’ve expanded my repertoire to include patterned pants so this outfit didn’t turn out as plain and nondescript as I feared it would.
And how fun are these shoes? I love the cunning use of green on the insole so they just peek out like little shy turtle heads. When I first got these heels, I was really bummed because a. they were a half size too big, b. they weren’t as deep navy as I’d expected, and c. I couldn’t return them because they were an eBay purchase. However, a pair of heel snugs fixed Problem A, and when I realized they were the perfect pair for this outfit – what with the navy/green combo and all – Problems B and C were rendered moot. I love when the planets align like that.
What about you, my friends? Do you have tried-and-true strategies for dressing on your off-days? Are there things you do that make you feel confident and pretty even after a period of food splurging?
:: Just the facts, ma’am ::
Top – Macy’s
Pants – Old Navy
Shoes – Seychelles @ eBay