I feel very zen today.
It’s as if the planets have aligned and the universe has decided to cut me some slack. Firstly, I was able to sleep in because we had no morning meeting.
Secondly, since I had already decided to skip breakfast at Commons while the others chose otherwise, I had the opportunity for a leisurely and solitary time in the bathroom sans worry of people bursting in on me.
I also had to replace my toothbrush that had fallen on the floor last night, and like a boss, I totally took charge, found the convenience store and purchased said toothbrush and an egg salad sandwich for breakfast as well. (Gotta have that protein!)
Why am I sharing these bits of mundanity? As evidence, my friends, of my growing independence and as a reminder to continue with my evolution. You see, although I’d initially waxed empowered about my rediscovering myself here, I may have been a bit premature.
Old habits die hard, after all.
I found myself falling into the pattern of letting others do for me. It’s easy when you’re surrounded by helpful veterans who know the ropes, know the geography, and know the schedule. For a bit there, I was back in high school, allowing others to make decisions for me like what time to sleep, when to eat, what to do. It even went as far as my checking every day to see how the other gals were carrying their materials so I could do the same.
Sadly, I also succumbed to that high school mentality of wanting to be part of the “in-crowd”, so it was difficult for me to say no. I was afraid that, by saying no enough times, I’d be self-excluding and would end up alone for the remaining weeks.
This morning, though, I chose to exercise my right as an adult and forged ahead on my own. I didn’t text anyone about breakfast. I walked myself to my observations. Although I joined people for lunch, I left on my own. It helps when I have a clear directive and a schedule.
Oh, and I’ve decided that backpacks just make my back sweat so I’m toting my gear in a convenient woven satchel that has the added benefit of being pounds lighter.
And I made that decision all by myself.
:: Just the facts, ma’am ::
Tee – Stylemint
Cardi – Marshall’s
Capris – Rewind @ Kohl’s
Sandals – Target (two seasons ago)