Perhaps having a whole weekend off was counterproductive.
Because, rather than rejuvenation, I am currently undergoing disillusionment. The honeymoon is over, my friends, and more often than not anymore, I look at the tasks set before me or field frantic texts from my instructors and I think: “That’s what TAs are for.” or “Grow up and do for yourself.”
I want to be able to focus on my own classroom and feel excited about my curriculum next year. I don’t want to revamp someone else’s plans that have no bearing on me in the real world and should’ve been approved and vetted months ago.
I want to be able to enjoy what few moments of leisure I can sneak off with. I don’t want to feel guilty for being fortunate enough or efficient enough that I managed to carve out leisure time in the first place.
I want to be the master of my own time and space. I am way too old and have paid enough dues not to have to kowtow or worry about fulfilling obligations that are pointless.
In an attempt to cajole me out of this mood, I chose to wear this bright orange shirt from my Target haul. But since orange is the program’s color, I think I succeeded in depressing myself instead.
To top it all off, the hubs just informed me that my car is dead which means we need to purchase a new one, stat. Of course, the best deal we can get in terms of a loan is through my credit union but, guess what? I’m here in Connecticut.
At least I got new boat shoes.
:: Just the facts, ma’am ::
Top – Target
Shorts – F21
Shoes – Rock and Candy @ Marshall’s