I’m gonna confess to a bad mommy moment.
On Sunday, as I was about to begin my photo shoot, my precocious daughter assaults me and announces that she will be my photographer for the day. If you recall, at one point, she was actually my best photographer because of her height (the angles always made me look skinny) and her swift trigger finger (allowing her to capture me candidly and we all know how I show best in candid shots).
But anymore, I’ve gotten used to the solitary zen-ness of taking my own shots. My new gadgets (HGB feature forthcoming) afford me this lovely luxury. And I have it down to a science now: lug full-length mirror outdoors; set up mini tripod on top of rolling BBQ; adjust settings; put on Pandora playlist; turn on remote; pose; rinse and repeat.
There is no room for interlopers in my working schema.
But she’s my daughter and she still looks up to me and wants to be me and I don’t want to shatter her little world just yet – plenty of time to do that when she becomes a teen. So I grudgingly agreed to her request even though I knew the inevitable would happen. And it did.
It was like trying on a favorite pair of shoes after a long hiatus and realizing they no longer fit. Or go. You mourn its past usefulness but are now irritated that it takes up space in your closet and you just want to throw it in the cull pile before it guilts you anymore with its presence.
She snapped pictures. I felt awkward. The sun was in my eyes. We were wasting precious daylight. I was getting progressively annoyed. And being the precocious, intuitive kid that she is, she knew in seconds that it just wasn’t working. And because she’s really only eight and still can’t tell that I’m irked with the situation and not with her, she gave me little puppy dog eyes, said “Forget it, Mommy” then slinked back into the house to watch Spongebob Squarepants.
Ready for the bad mommy moment? I didn’t go in and cajole her out of her mood. I didn’t go in to explain mine. I just breathed an internal sigh of relief and proceeded with my photo shoot. And to compound the transgression, my son comes out minutes later with his RC truck, and even though he photobombed me every opportunity he could get, this was a distraction I could work with and therefore not only did I tolerate his presence, but I included him in my shoot.
I’ll get it right one day. At least I can go down in mommy flames in style. Coz you know I’m totally rocking the plaid in this outfit, even if the outfit is seasonally confused.