Let me tell you a story about BFF and me.
At a certain point in our 17-year-old friendship, we both were struck by a serious epiphany: she was the tortoise and I was the hare. (We all know about that Aesop’s fable, right?) To wit, BFF did everything slowly and methodically and thoughtfully whereas I lived my life speedily and carelessly and cavalierly. We agreed that one was not necessarily better than the other – slow and steady has its place as does swift and perfunctory.
We even laughed about it and swore we’d write a dual perspective self-help/memoir because seriously, everything we did was the exact opposite of the other. I kid you not – from reading a book to running on the treadmill to giving birth, fer cryin’ out loud! BFF lives her life at a leisurely pace while I go untrammeled at breakneck speed. And wouldn’t that be a hoot to read?
But why share this now? Well, recent events in my life have compelled me to reassess the merits of my approach. You see, when I’m fast, I tend to overlook things. And when I overlook things, feelings tend to get trodden upon inadvertently, and I end up seeming thoughtless and indifferent. Sadly, this M.O. has been the bane of my existence. It goes as far back as my childhood, when my mother futilely attempted to pound into me the importance of remembered birthdays and anniversaries, of thank you notes and phone calls when I’d be late from a party, all of which I chose to blithely ignore because there were more pressing/shiny/distracting things to warrant my attention.
Let me hearken back to my BFF story one more time, if I may: At one point in our friendship, my “indifference” prompted me and BFF to go our separate ways for an entire year. There was no hue and cry, no sound and fury. We just slipped away from each other, knowing subconsciously that this was yet another product of our tortoise/hare relationship and that this, too, shall pass. And it did. And now we’re closer and stronger than ever.
But that break and reconciliation was possible because BFF and I had the strength of time, shared experiences and a solid, real-world friendship to anchor us. What happens when something similar occurs to someone with whom I hold only a tenuous, tentative relationship at best? What happens when a freshly-forged online rapport is threatened by my apparently heedless ways?
You watch them say good-bye, that’s what.
And you feel a bit sad and a bit hurt and a bit Catholic guilty for not living up to unspoken expectations. Then you think back to all the good times you shared, the rapid interchange of words and ideas, the reciprocal compliments and kudos. And you realize that the blogoverse may well indeed work like dog years: a handful of months knowing each other can be the equivalent of years in real life and perhaps, like a lot of real life friendships, the story just runs its course. Unlike real life friendships, however, maybe there’s no recovering from the upheaval.
But hey, at least my outfit of the day is exceedingly reminiscent of that there wisteria tree, eh? Three cheers for Dress Like a Tree aka Mother Nature Madness week!
:: Just the facts, ma’am ::
Top – Gap
Jacket – eBay
Skirt – eBay
Heels – Nine West