OOTD :: of tortoises, hares and bittersweet farewells

4.25.14

4.25.14

4.25.14

Let me tell you a story about BFF and me.

At a certain point in our 17-year-old friendship, we both were struck by a serious epiphany: she was the tortoise and I was the hare. (We all know about that Aesop’s fable, right?) To wit, BFF did everything slowly and methodically and thoughtfully whereas I lived my life speedily and carelessly and cavalierly. We agreed that one was not necessarily better than the other – slow and steady has its place as does swift and perfunctory.

We even laughed about it and swore we’d write a dual perspective self-help/memoir because seriously, everything we did was the exact opposite of the other. I kid you not – from reading a book to running on the treadmill to giving birth, fer cryin’ out loud! BFF lives her life at a leisurely pace while I go untrammeled at breakneck speed. And wouldn’t that be a hoot to read?

But why share this now? Well, recent events in my life have compelled me to reassess the merits of my approach. You see, when I’m fast, I tend to overlook things. And when I overlook things, feelings tend to get trodden upon inadvertently, and I end up seeming thoughtless and indifferent. Sadly, this M.O. has been the bane of my existence. It goes as far back as my childhood, when my mother futilely attempted to pound into me the importance of remembered birthdays and anniversaries, of thank you notes and phone calls when I’d be late from a party, all of which I chose to blithely ignore because there were more pressing/shiny/distracting things to warrant my attention.

Let me hearken back to my BFF story one more time, if I may: At one point in our friendship, my “indifference” prompted me and BFF to go our separate ways for an entire year. There was no hue and cry, no sound and fury. We just slipped away from each other, knowing subconsciously that this was yet another product of our tortoise/hare relationship and that this, too, shall pass. And it did. And now we’re closer and stronger than ever.

But that break and reconciliation was possible because BFF and I had the strength of time, shared experiences and a solid, real-world friendship to anchor us. What happens when something similar occurs to someone with whom I hold only a tenuous, tentative relationship at best? What happens when a freshly-forged online rapport is threatened by my apparently heedless ways?

You watch them say good-bye, that’s what.

And you feel a bit sad and a bit hurt and a bit Catholic guilty for not living up to unspoken expectations. Then you think back to all the good times you shared, the rapid interchange of words and ideas, the reciprocal compliments and kudos. And you realize that the blogoverse may well indeed work like dog years: a handful of months knowing each other can be the equivalent of years in real life and perhaps, like a lot of real life friendships, the story just runs its course. Unlike real life friendships, however, maybe there’s no recovering from the upheaval.

Sigh.

But hey, at least my outfit of the day is exceedingly reminiscent of that there wisteria tree, eh? Three cheers for Dress Like a Tree aka Mother Nature Madness week!

 

:: Just the facts, ma’am ::
Top – Gap
Jacket – eBay
Skirt – eBay
Heels – Nine West

:: Linking ::
Fashion Friday @ All Things Chic
Fashion Informant @ The Life of the Party

 

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20 thoughts on “OOTD :: of tortoises, hares and bittersweet farewells

  1. Pingback: OOTD :: of orchids, silver slippers, and complimentary colors | :: My Closet Catalogue ::

  2. Maricel, I’m saddened to read that you’ve faced discord in our blog community. I’m always in awe of you…career, mother, full time blogger, reader…it doesn’t surprise me to read that you are a hare. Having said that, I find you to be thoughtful and genuine with your comments on my blog, or responses here on your own blog, and I very much appreciate you for it! You do look like a princess here. happy sigh.

    • Thank you, Sue. I count myself supremely humbled and honored to be part of your special cadre; a comment/post from you in my inbox always brightens my day. I suppose I should just stick with the folks I’ve got and not cast my net out in other waters; birds of a feather and all that, right?

  3. Lovely outfit.
    About meeting other people’s expectations (unspoken or not): if we start thinking how to be this and that for whomsoever, we go mad…. All we can ever be is ourselves, and other people should never expect more. I don’t know if that is of any consolation, but life is already complicated without us trying to complicate it more by trying to read someone else’s mind to meet their needs…

    • Hullo, Tiina! It’s a consolation to know that my words resonate with virtual strangers enough to engage them and result in their leaving thoughtful responses. Thanks for stopping by and for leaving kind words in your wake.

    • Oh, good. I had debated between mint tulle and pink tulle but in the end, I felt I had to go big or go home. If I wanted to feel like a fairy princess, then I had to dress like a fairy princess so pink it was.

  4. So true, this: “And you realize that the blogoverse may well indeed work like dog years”. It’s happened to me too, and makes me sad. As Val said, it’s easier to be flip online and I am sure I have offended some, without intending to.

    Your OOTD is gorgeous! xo

    • Yes, ma’am. I think, initially, I blatantly hinted that I wanted one and Anne, being the awesomesauce lady that she is, drew me even before we became true friends.

  5. You look like a princess! I would say a Disney princess, but that’s too mundane for you. You’re way beyond Disney. OMG those shoes!!! Again, you need to go out and show off!

    Your story is a good attempt to understand the difference between friendships in the “meat” life and in the virtual life. I found it very odd at first to have readers open up and be so forward in their comments when you’re not getting facial expressions and body language. It is different, but it can be fun because it’s different! Or it can be easy to offend. I’m afraid I sometimes catch myself being too flippant, and I hope I’m not misunderstood. I think most bloggers understand that we are all trying to do so many things at once, and we can’t always leave long comments (like this one!) or keep up with every blog. Don’t be too hard on yourself – you’re an amazing and prolific blogger, and you’re also courteous and gracious. Just like a true princess!

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